The most cursed Pokémon cards of all time
If you’re a Pokémon TCG collector, chances are you’ve experienced the thrill of hunting the most beautiful cards for your binders. Perhaps you’ve scored the Moonbreon from Evolving Skies? Or maybe you went hard on Crown Zenith, amassing a portfolio dedicated to the majestic cards from the Galarian Gallery? Some modern cards are truly works of art. Some, though… some will haunt me till my dying day.
You won’t find any true nightmare fuel in the cream of the crop, of course. Our list of the most expensive rare Pokémon cards, and our TCG player’s guide to the best Pokémon cards in the game, contain only grade A Pokéfashion show material (with the possible exception of Claydol – why you gotta be so weird, Claydol?)
Dig a little deeper into the back catalog, however, and things get a lot weirder. I asked my local Pokémon Community what Pokémon TCG cards made them think ‘what the heck?’ – and together, we’ve compiled a list ranging from vintage oddities to fresh nightmares. As you scroll through, keep in mind: every one of these cards was deliberately designed and approved by someone high up. Yes, these were all deemed to meet the high standards of The Pokémon Company brand.
Gastly
| Set | Scarlet and Violet – Temporal Forces |
| Year | 2024 |
| Illustrator | Illustrator: Mousho |
To the untrained eye, this art illustration seems relatively normal compared to some of the others on this list. However, my main question is, where are you putting that tongue of yours, Gengar? Why does Gastly seem okay with it, and why is Meowth eagerly watching from the sidelines?
Typhlosion
| Set | Expedition Base Set |
| Year | 2002 |
| Illustrator | Hiroaki Ito |
I’m a firm believer that 2D characters should never be viewed face-on; this Typhlosion is a case in point. This little guy looks like he’s a cult leader. Looking at him, arms open, welcoming you into the family, meanwhile his eyes and teeth say “don’t cross me”.
Bonsly
| Set | Diamond and Pearl |
| Year | 2007 |
| Illustrator | Midori Horodo |
I know the tears are supposedly fake, as evidenced by the move, ‘fake tears’, but I still can’t help but feel sorry for the little fella, all stuck on its back, unable to get up, like a turtle. Also, let’s address Bonsly‘s hole – it really does look awfully like a butt…
Ditto
| Set | XY Promo |
| Year | 2015 |
| Illustrator | 5ban Graphics |
Included in a Primal Clash blister pack, this card depicts a Ditto transforming into a Pikachu. Look at that stretched-out smile and lifeless eyes, pink and shiny like some form of crazy putty. Imagine waking up to see it staring back at you; it’s the stuff of nightmares.
Skuntank
| Set | Pokémon Rumble |
| Year | 2009 |
| Illustrator | Pokémon Rumble |
I appreciate that this Skuntank card is designed with the game in mind, hence the angular, polygonal artwork – but seriously, what’s going on here? Firstly, the little guy looks super angry. Secondly, is that its tail over its back? It sort of all blends into a blob of white and purple. Why have they not used lines?
Dark Slowking
| Set | Neo Destiny |
| Year | 2002 |
| Illustrator | Tomokazu Komiya |
This Slowking looks like it’s practising Mr Burns’ iconic “excellent” hand movement. Admittedly, this card is beautifully designed with fantastic shading, I just wish it didn’t look like it was plotting to kill me and everyone I hold dear. I know it’s a “dark” Pokémon, but still – cards shouldn’t give me nightmares.
Grimer
| Set | Team Rocket |
| Year | 1997 |
| Illustrator | Kagemaru Himeno |
Interestingly, the English version of this Grimer has eyes facing forward, while this Japanese edition has it pointed… well, I’ll let you make what you will of this one. What I will say is that the artist denies what you’re thinking.
Misty’s Tears
| Set | Gym Challenge |
| Year | 1990 |
| Illustrator | Ken Sugimori |
Again, the artwork was changed between the Japanese and English release of Misty’s Tears, and I can see why. Is there a need for Misty to be naked? It seems unnecessary, considering kids love this franchise. This card creeps me out. Get in the bin!
Imakuni?’s Doduo
| Set | XY Evolutions |
| Year | 2016 |
| Illustrator | Imakuni? |
Imakuni is a Japanese musician known for many eccentric Pokémon promos, and this card is no exception, but what makes this card cursed is that Imakuni is chasing the Doduo with a net. Where’s your Pokéballs, pal? What are you, a Bug Catcher?
If you’ve spotted any cards out there that you’d consider cursed, share them with other Pokéfans and staff in the Wargamer Discord community – don’t worry, we didn’t want to sleep anyway…
If, on the other hand, you need to see some distinctly NON cursed ‘Mons for some eye bleach – our all time guide to the Cutest Pokémon has you covered. For a catch-up on the TCG’s history of releases, check out our list of all Pokémon sets in order. Mind you, things have gotten weird here, so I don’t blame you if you need a cup of tea and a moment to sit down first.
